Monday, June 20, 2011

15 Most Epic Beards in Cinema!

Over here at Geek Preview, we have a thing for any and all things geek.  Our knowledge and love isn't limited, though, and it grows.  We like to show our love through many ways: posts, updates, reviews, and more importantly - lists.  The only thing more awesome than a list?  BEARDS.  So, a list of beards is probably too awesome, but let's find out! Ladies and gentlemen, Geek Preview presents: the 15 Most Epic Beards in Cinema!

Milk was a bad choice.

Actor: Will Ferrell

Movie: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Bergundy

Why it's Epic:  It's Will Ferrell playing Ron Bergundy.  With a beard.  Once you see Will Ferrell with a beard it's near impossible to unsee it.  

Peter, you have been brushing haven't you?

Actor: John Noble

Movie: Fringe

Why it's Epic: Okay, so it's not a movie, but it's still an epic beard.  Walter Bishop, the most amazing scientist in the world has a beard that is equally amazing.  Too bad he's a little crazy.

Insert Wilfred Joke Here.

Actor: Tom Hanks

Movie: Castaway 

Why it's Epic:  As Tom Hanks' character gets crazier being stuck on an island, so does his beard.  You'd think he would have been able to makeshift a Gillette or something out there, seeing as he could build other things.

Beardicus Epicus.

Actor: Michael Gambon

Movie: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Why it's Epic: It's Albus Freakin' Dumbledore! (That's his real middle name.)  Not only is he the greatest sorcerer of all time, he's also the recordholder for the most magnificent beard.  Just don't tell Gandalf that, please.

Sauron had no beard.  That's why he lost.

Actor: Ian McKellen

Movie: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Why it's Epic: This is perhaps the most majestic cinemasterpiece, aside from Treebeard.  It's just short enough, and just a tiny bit frilly.  He really wouldn't have as much respect without the beard because beards = respect.

What is your profession?
Actor: Gerard Butler

Movie: 300

Why it's Epic: Ripped Abs? Check.  Most awesome line ever yelled during battle? Check. Perfectly formed beard that let's others know that you mean business? Double check.

Yer didn't think that I'd shave it, didja?
Actor: Robbie Coltrane

Movie: Harry Potter Series

Why it's Epic: Hagrid is a giant, in case you didn't know.  While he is huge, one can only wonder what the actual length of his beard is.

The only beard in the Wolfpack.
Actor: Zach Galifianakis

Movie: The Hangover Part II

Why it's Epic: While it's hard to pull off a beard, it's equally as hard to do when you're playing a kid-like adult.    Also, how in the hell is it so perfectly rounded?

One cannot simply walk into Mordor without Beard-legs.

Actor: John Ryes-Davies

Movie: Lord of the Rings trilogy

Why it's Epic: Look at it! It's like the beard has legs.  -head explodes from greatness-

Spiderman? Not you again.

Actor: Robin Williams

Movie: Jumanji

Why it's Epic: His beard is super bushy.  It shows just how ridiculous this character is at the time.  He's supposed to be crazy, so the epic beard enhances this.  Or maybe it's just because he's next to little Kirsten Dunst? Who knows.

-cue epic stand-off music-
Actor: Chia Hui-Liu

Movie: Kill Bill Vol. 2

Why it's Epic: His beard must have grown too long, because his eyebrows are just as long! Also, his mustache has a beard! HE IS THE BEARD.

Scorcese on coke.
Actor: Martin Starr

Movie: Knocked Up

Why it's Epic: This thing grows throughout the entire movie, and leaves us wondering as to what the limit would ever be.  It also is the focus of many of the world's best beard jokes.

When I was a young boy...
Actor: George Clooney

Movie: O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Why it's Epic: I know it's not real, but still: this is George Clooney, who can rock anything in the world and still look good.  Even a fake beard.

Where did you say the rum was?
Actor: Johnny Depp

Movie: Pirates of the Caribbean

Why it's Epic: This beard is really two beards in one.  They are also styled perfectly.  I wonder how much work went into that?

Do not be hasty. This beard is tasty.
Actor: John Ryes-Davies

Movie: Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Why it's Epic: It's a goddamned tree.  WITH A BEARD.  Further proving the point of: If it has a beard, it's important and epic and will win SO. HARD.

Haven't seen these movies? You should totally check them out!

So there you go! That's some epic beards, huh?  Anything you would've liked to see in this list?  Which beard is the most epic, or have you seen something even more epic in real life?


  1. Pei Mei has the best beard on the list, I mean think of all the times someone has played with their real or imaginary beard. Also Treebeard is an excellent choice on the list mainly because he is a tree with a beard and his name has beard in it unlike Beard from ZZ Top, who is the only member of ZZ Top without a beard. By the way, you should do epic beards in music history.

  2. Thanks ToadFrog!

    We've been thinking about an epic beard follow-up for some time, and it'd be the perfect introduction into our music category we've been meaning to put up! Sounds like you just came up with our next list!

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