Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Top 5 Reasons Grand Theft Auto Five Should Come to New Orleans

We've all played, and loved, Grand Theft Auto.  San Andreas, Liberty City, Vice City: all great fictional towns, and their counterparts (Los Angeles, New York, and Miami, in that order,) are equally as awesome.  But, with games the like of L.A. Noire and Saints Row the Third, Grand Theft Auto has a lot it has to bring to make it not only a hit game, but a good game.  What is "it," though?  How about a little bit of actual Southern flair?

Sure, Vice City is the Miami of GTA, but that's not very South.  Well, it isn't to me, anyway.  I live in Louisiana, right inside the Greater New Orleans area (GNO, ya heard?)  and New Orleans is one of, if not the, most diverse cities you will ever visit or live in.  Every single day is a new experience and the city is full of vibrant, colorful people.  These, and our other reasons, are why GTA should come to N.O.

5) New Orleans sleeps less than New York.

It is said that New York is the "city that never sleeps."  That is true, but after a while it quiets down.  That's just not the case in New Orleans.  Go down to the French Quarter, you'll see what it's like to never sleep.  We didn't sleep during the oil spill or Katrina; we rebuilt.  And trust me, we're better than ever.

4) It's the most diverse town in the world.

Now I'm hungry.
You can run into anyone and everyone in New Orleans.  Around one corner, you can run into Nicholas Cage on some drunken, crazy rampage and then turn around and you meet Yucko the Clown.  Then, further down you've got Russians who've come to visit with their Japanese friends.  Then you find a culinary master at one of our renowned restaurants and he'll play you a metal ballad.  You never know what will happen down here. And, don't call us a melting pot.  Please call us a gumbo.

Gris-Gris, popular Louisiana Voodoo

3) We have our fair shares of myths, legends, and spooks.

We have a history of Voodoo, which, in itself, would make an amazing movie or video game.  Witches, vampires, ghosts, demons, cannibals; we've had them all!  Haunted houses and mansions are around almost every corner.  Let's not forget our swamps filled with alligators, beastly hogs, and the elusive Loup garou.

Grand Theft Riverboat.

2) There's always something to do in New Orleans.

Go down to Bourbon, drink a little or a lot.  Then, you can go to the burial site of Marie Laveau.  after that, go check out some psychics and voodoo queens.  Go to a couple of parties, crash a movie that is filming out here, hang out with the entrepreneurs and rappers.  Name whatever you want: you can do it.  It's not all legal, though...

Boobs everywhere.

1) Mardi Gras.

I doubt I have to say much about this, but it's freaking Mardi Gras.  A parade of floats, drinks all around, costumes, crazy shenanigans, and an overall good time.  How awesome would it be for GTA to have a parade part?  How about stealing a float?  The possibilities are endless and it'd make for one of the best scenes in any game we've played, at least from my point of view.

Overall, Grand Theft Auto Five should follow in the footsteps of awesome games such as Left 4 Dead 2 and Infamous 2.  New Orleans is bursting with flavor, whether its the food, people, or architecture.  It's the place to be right now, and Grand Theft Auto could really do a lot with New Orleans, even if they just took inspiration from it.  After all, as our own Dr. John says in Princess and the Frog, "Dreams do come true in New Orleans!"

What do you think? Where would you put GTA:V?


  1. It could be a wonderful game. waiting for it. Thanks for the post.
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  2. My experience said It is said that New York is the "city that never sleeps." That is true, but after a while it quiets down. That's just not the case in New Orleans.. I appreciate your topic for blogging. Thanks for sharing such a useful post.

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  4. I feel like if they did it in the next, the float would make a great pre-order bonus, like the blimp in V. Some people say that it should be in Tokyo or Berlin, or that your character should be a part of the mafia. That's not what GTA is about. Grand Theft Auto is about modern day, personal, American (with the London exception) crime. Which is another reason our Crescent City would be great. We have so much bottled up crime down here, it's ridiculous. We've got drugs, murders (3rd leading murder capital of the US), con artists, you name it, and it's all in little increments. GTA isn't about large scale gang operations, it's about out-of-nowhere, shitty situations. Also voodoo would make for some really cool myths. With the French heritage, they could call it New Vaudou.

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